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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25101019">Crazy Works</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/elvirakitties/pseuds/elvirakitties'>elvirakitties</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, M/M, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Mental Institutions, Second War with Voldemort, insane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:28:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,859</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25101019</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/elvirakitties/pseuds/elvirakitties</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry was never found, Dumbledore has been looking and Harry doesn't want anything to do with him. Severus can't believe he has to deal with Dumbledore and Voldemort. He just wants to survive them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Severus Snape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>952</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Severus was enjoying taking points from students as he walked (really stormed) his way toward the Headmaster's office. He was dreading another Order meeting and wondering how Dumbledore was going to explain the fact he had been missing for over a month. It was bad enough to have to cover the absence with the students and Board as well as a psycho Dark Lord but he wasn't up for listening to the old coot's latest excuses or his schemes for locating Harry Potter. He wasn't surprised to discover most of the Order already sitting down in the Headmaster's office. "Ah, my boy, punctuational as ever." </p>
<p>"Yes, it's not like I have a lot of other important things to do. You know, a Dark Lord who wants things done, students who seem determined to blow up my labs, or even essays to correct but sure, let's waste my time listening to your latest Harry Potter theory." Severus moved to his usual spot by the bookcase and looked to see if any new books would make their way into his pockets for him to read later as he ignored Molly huffing about his rudeness.</p>
<p>"Albus was going to inform us where he has been for the last five weeks." Minerva glared at Dumbledore. </p>
<p>Severus didn't think it was five weeks. He thought he was stretching it with four weeks. "Oh, this will be interesting." </p>
<p>"Yes, well, hm." Dumbledore looked a bit uncomfortable for several seconds with his head down and his hands running down his beard. He straightened up. "I was locked in a mental health institute." </p>
<p>"What?" Minerva looked a bit confused about what happened. </p>
<p>"Why?" Molly never understood why anyone would think Dumbledore was insane. Severus thought Molly needed to be on some mood stabilizers.</p>
<p>"How?" Lupin wasn't sure how anyone would have gotten Dumbledore admitted. Severus believed that Lupin was with him on the idea that Dumbledore was crazy. Lupin was used to dealing with crazy since he dealt with Sirius Black every day since what would have been Harry Potter's third year.</p>
<p>"Why didn't you use your wand and leave?" Severus ever the very practical man wondered why Dumbledore just didn't use his wand and escape. Severus noticed something. "Your wand is different. What happened to your wand?" </p>
<p>"It's a bit of a story. I found Harry Potter."</p>
<p>'Where?" Most of the Order was asking.</p>
<p>"When?" Lupin almost jumping out of his seat with eagerness.</p>
<p>"How?" Minerva wanted the full story.</p>
<p>"Where is the brat?" Severus hoped Potter wasn't at Hogwarts. It would ruin everything. </p>
<p>"I am afraid I do not know where he is now." Dumbledore held up his hand. "Let me tell you the whole story." Dumbledore was again looking uncomfortable but put a fake smile on his face. "I found Harry and approached him to discuss the fact that he is a wizard. It didn't go very well. He offered me some tea and while he was brewing the tea, he called the Aurors on me."</p>
<p>"He did what?" Minerva was agast.</p>
<p>"Are you joking?" </p>
<p>Severus wanted to laugh. Harry Potter called the police on Albus Dumbledore. He bet that never happened before to the man. </p>
<p>"Sadly, no I'm not joking, Molly. He kept me talking until they arrived. I explained all about wizards, how he should have gone to Hogwarts. His parents, how they were killed, and his relatives. When the Aurors appeared, I realized what was happening and attempted to use a memory charm on Harry and was going to apparate before they arrived at his door. I pulled out my wand, he summoned it to him. No words or anything. I was so stunned, he was equally stunned, and before I was aware of it, the Aurors were inside his home. When I attempted to explain it was a slight misunderstanding, he played back a recording of me explaining about magic and wizards. I didn't know they could record us with things. I was escorted to a mental health secured unit. I attempted to get out but it turns out there was a Death Eater who worked there and they kept them there for the full time until I was able to get a solicitor to advocate for me and obtain my release." </p>
<p>Severus started laughing. He just couldn't stop. One of the nut jobs were locked up for five weeks. Now if they both could be just locked up, he wouldn't have to worry about his life. </p>
<p>"Honestly, Severus, it's not funny." Minerva was trying not to laugh as Molly rebuked him. Lupin started laughing as well as a few others. Severus laughed harder as Molly and Dumbledore kept trying to regain control until even Minerva broke down and started laughing. </p>
<p>________________________________________________________________________</p>
<p>"My Lord, I have some news for you." </p>
<p>"Yes, Severus?" </p>
<p>"Dumbledore was just released from a muggle mental health asylum." Severus had already spoken to the Death Eater responsible and had a plan for getting both of the nut jobs permanently placed in an institution if this plan of action didn't work. He was tired of their games and tired of being controlled by each of them. He was also tired of being close to death once too often. Why was it only the nut cases that ruled their world? Why didn't the sane people rule? Maybe because you needed to be insane to deal with the idiots. </p>
<p>Voldemort shot off a few curses to a variety of mindless Death Eaters but Severus avoided getting hit. He hadn't slowed down in his old age, plus for working for crazy people was it kept your reflexes sharp. Voldemort screamed (more like loud hissing but who could tell what exactly he was saying) at Lucius about using it and making sure the wizarding world became aware that Dumbledore was kept prisoner by his harmless muggles. Lucius, ever the bootlicker, was the perfect stooge for the job. Severus had a brief picture of Moe, Larry, and Curly with rotating images of the different political leaders as the Three Stooges. "Report to me how Dumbledore reacts, Severus." </p>
<p>"Yes, my Lord." </p>
<p>"Dismissed. Lucius, remain behind." </p>
<p>Severus handed Narcissa some pain potions on the way out. Severus almost skipped once he was away from Death Eater Central. He stopped at the local muggle store and picked up some muggle case of Pepsi and package of Snickers and some Twizzlers. He picked up the gossip rags as they did make for some good ideas to feed Voldemort and Dumbledore fake information to read while he rode the tube for a bit. He landed in Hogsmeade and frowned as he walked back to Hogwarts. His story about how Voldemort tortured Lucius (well, that was partially true since Lucius was there when he left), was going more and more insane (again the truth) and now, what did the rags claim had areas of trouble? He crafted the stories of raids based on those towns and issues mentioned. Yes, they would work. </p>
<p>___________________________________________________________________</p>
<p>Severus apparated around the United Kingdom before landing on a small private island off of Wales. He entered the wards and wasn't surprised to find a cup of tea waiting for him. "How long are you staying?" </p>
<p>"The night." </p>
<p>Harry put down the plate of tea sandwiches. "I just made them." Harry had sat down. "I am guessing Dumbledore is finally released?" </p>
<p>"Yes, how? Why didn't you tell me?" Severus tossed some of the books he removed from Dumbledore's office on the chair next to him. They had the Potter family seal on them. "I am going to remember the Order meeting when he returned for a long time." </p>
<p>"I figured you would like the surprise." </p>
<p>"He said you were surprised by the wand."</p>
<p>"I was. I held up my hand and it just flew into it. I didn't even expect it. I think it is because I have the other pieces that go with it." Harry leaned back. "He believed I was an idiot. I just let him ramble on and on until the police arrived and hauled him away. The Prophet had a very interesting array of articles." </p>
<p>"Yes, the gossip rags and Dumbledore's stay made some interesting stories. Dumbledore's stay caused a lot of issues regarding muggles and the Dark Wanker's supporters jumped all over those issues and gained some support. Dumbledore is in danger of being removed from his job."</p>
<p>"Only in danger, well, we can't have that." Harry arched a brow. </p>
<p>"No, we can't." Severus grinned. "Honestly, the pair of them. I was hoping the potions would work faster and I wasn't expecting Dumbledore to be kept in a mental hospital."</p>
<p>"It took me a bit. I had to use poly-juice potions to keep up the rouse. Did I thank you for those hairs?"</p>
<p>"No, not yet, but I'm sure you can." Severus looked at Harry. "It will have to be at a later date. Dumbledore released the fact that he spoke to you and where you are." </p>
<p>"Interesting. Wonder how the homeowners will respond to all the reporters?"</p>
<p>"They didn't. Let's just say, the Ministry received some calls from the muggle side and Dumbledore got into more trouble and now he is being questioned about who he really spoke with before his forced stay." Severus had enjoyed Rita questioning Dumbledore's mental health as well as Voldemort's good mood. "Voldemort has been very happy." </p>
<p>Harry grinned. "The goblins are waiting for when they can collect him." </p>
<p>"I have a list of Death Eaters that can go missing if they wish to collect some of them." Severus pulled out a scroll from his pocket. "Now, no more business, let's relax for the few hours I do have." </p>
<p>"Deal. I did rent a movie. Monty Python."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Severus was picturing Voldemort with a big red nose (to make up for the lack of a nose), robes that only Dumbledore would wear, with huge shoes, and orange hair. The clown image was the only thing that kept him from screaming at the crazy man who was trying to plan a raid. Severus didn't think the raid would happen as Gringotts had been collecting some of the Death Eaters for their crimes against magical creatures. Lucius was attempting to explain why the meetings had such a low turn out. Severus didn't flinch when Lucius fell to the floor under Voldemort's curse. </p><p>"Severus, I am hoping you have some news?" </p><p>"I do, my lord. Dumbledore has been ordered to see a mind healer and depending on the results might lose his position. He attempted to get someone associated with the Order but it was declined. I do believe you have some mind healers that could speed up the process of having him declared unfit." Voldemort was positively beaming with the news. "He has a mandatory requirement for ten sessions." </p><p>"Excellent news, Severus. This is what it takes to make it into my Elite force. Not that pathic excuse of information that Lucius provided me with regarding why we are missing members." Voldemort shot another curse at Lucius who had been attempting to get up. Lucius just gave up and remained on the floor. </p><p>"I will gladly search for them, my Lord." Bellatrix leaned closer to Voldemort. "I will find those who are missing and return them to you, my Lord."</p><p>Severus wanted to do a dance. Yes, the goblins had been waiting for the crazy loon to step out of Voldemort's wards. He would alert them to her starting to search. </p><p>"Do not lean so close to me." Voldemort shot a curse at her. Bellatrix crashed to the floor almost hitting Nagini. "You almost fell on my darling, Nagini." He shot another curse at her. Severus was the only person still sitting in a chair. The rest of the Death Eaters were twitching on the ground or attempting to get up off of the floor. "Severus, here is a list of potions, I want them by Saturday." </p><p>Severus looked down the list. He had them already made, thankfully. "Yes, my Lord." One of the potions needed a week to make. The man was delusional if he hoped to obtain fresh potions.</p><p>"Provide the old fool with whatever you desire but do not mention I am missing some Death Eaters. Dismissed." Voldemort looked at the ones on the floor still. He got up and walked on them as he exited. </p><p>Severus helped Lucius and Narcissa up. He quickly passed each of them a potion bottle to help with the aftershocks of Voldemort's favorite Unforgivable. "I must get back to Hogwarts. Dumbledore will want his report." </p><p>Lucius groaned but squeezed Severus' arm in understand. Severus left the room. </p><p>_______________________________________________________________________________</p><p>Dumbledore was munching on lemon drops. Severus wished he would choke on one. It was one of his favorite ways for Dumbledore to die. "My boy, lemon drop?" </p><p>"No, I am here to report to you about tonight." Severus didn't bother to sit down. He had someplace to be and it wasn't Hogwarts. "He cursed everyone but me. I only escaped because I was able to inform him that you weren't aware of his raid plans and how they keep failing. I left off the failing part as you can see. He had another failed raid. No one but three Death Eaters attended of the ones he summoned. He believes there are some missing children in a small cottage in Cornwall and that they are magical. He believes you are kidnapping them and hiding them from him." He would have to send letters to the editors of the Daily Mail, Daily Express, Daily Mirror, and Daily Star. Those rag newspapers were good for something for a change. </p><p>"Do you have a location?" Dumbledore was eager to summon the Order. It has been almost six weeks since he had any real Order business to handle.</p><p>"It wasn't. They found a cottage full of mannequins for all the different holidays. A few were dressed as wizards and witches." In the rags, it was aliens. "He also wants Lucius to work on a law that would require everyone to wear clothes according to their status." It was a bizarre clothing article that he got this idea from. </p><p>"I will start researching this. I believe Hermione would be able to assist and it will give her something to do." Dumbledore wrote himself a note. </p><p>Let's see, how to get rid of the two Weasleys. "He also expressed a desire to have Narcissa and others check out the selling stalls and monitor what they sell. He wants to see if he can find a way to recruit by slipping potions into food. He hasn't yet but it might be a good idea to get a list of what the different vendors sell in Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, and especially, Knockturn Alley, you know how dark and evil those people are." Take the bait, please.</p><p>"I will have Ron and Ginny start on it. I just won't tell Molly they will have to go into Knockturn. She can help us breakdown the different food." </p><p>Thank you for stories about people lacing drinks with drugs. He loves those rag magazines. "He also believes your story about finding Harry. He is now looking for him in Surrey but he is using a disguise." Pick the two Mutts, please.</p><p>"I will have Remus and Sirius start watching the area and especially around the Dursleys' home. We don't want them to be in danger." Dumbledore made another note. "Anything else?" </p><p>"He just gave me the standard list of potions he always wants." Severus provided Dumbledore with a fake list. It was a list he crafted for his first-year students. "I will need to start on them right away as he wants them in two days." Now, he was free for two days from the brats and Hogwarts. Since it was his weekend off, he now had four days to escape the two nutcases. "I have to leave to get ingredients. You will need someone to cover my classes for the next two days. I have the standard pile of quizzes available for the classes." </p><p>"Very good, Severus. Do not forget Remus' Wolfbane potion." </p><p>"Trust me, it has already been delivered." Severus hoped the two mutts loved going visiting the loo. He added something extra into the food that Molly had wanted him to them. Severus left Dumbledore's office and headed to his quarters where he added more wards before using the floo to go to the Leaky Cauldron. He apparated around the UK for a bit before landing at the home he shared with Harry. </p><p>"Hi, I just finished making tea." Harry was dressed in jeans and a jersey and was wearing his black slippers carrying a tea tray. "How long can you remain?" </p><p>"Four days. The two nutcases bought every story we crafted. The Dark Lord is going to get a mind healer for Dumbledore for his ten sessions. Poppy and I talked Minerva into forcing him into going." Severus followed Harry into the sitting room. </p><p>"Good. Any idea who?" </p><p>"No, but I should be able to find out from Lucius and get some hairs. How was your day?" </p><p>"Long. A lot of patients." Harry was studying to be a veterinarian and ran his own small rescue. He would move to the Potter estate once Dumbledore was gone and he wanted to open his own veterinarian business as well as continue with the rescue work. "I did manage to speak to Ironclaw. They have been trying to see if I am at any of the Potter homes." Harry started to serve tea.</p><p>"Yes, I did mean to warn him about that aspect." Severus had removed his robes, leaving just black trousers and a white shirt on. He summoned his slippers. "Movie?" </p><p>"Of course, after that, I plan on dragging you up to bed." Harry pulled out the video hold. "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. I love the Sheriff of Nottingham in this movie." Harry held up a second one. "I was hoping you could stay longer. I got us Die Hard."</p><p>"I have four days off and plan to spend it with you." </p><p>"Good thing it's a long weekend for me too."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>How they met....a bit of crackiness too</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Ouch." </p><p>Severus heard a voice comment after he landed on his arse. "Don't you watch where you are going?"</p><p>"Me? I wasn't even moving. You ran into me." </p><p>Severus stood up. He wasn't about to admit that he had been looking for potion ingredients to a muggle in the middle of the woods. Yes, that would be an interesting conversation to have. The Aurors would just love to charge him with something stupid and made up to cover the idea of a muggle knowing about magic. Severus saw a basket hanging off the man's arms and it looked almost exactly like the one he was carrying and had most of the same ingredients in it except for one. "Where did you get the bat droppings?" Severus eyed the ingredient hoping it was from a lesser horseshoe bat. </p><p>"The main body of the Hebridean Sheep are by their cave, in the old mines." Severus watched the man as he looked at Severus' ingredients. A small smile broke out on the man's face. "Healer or Potion Master?" </p><p>Severus was now a bit confused. The man was British, had to be a wizard, and has a professor at Hogwarts, he believed he knew any wizard under the age of 30 due to this. Most of the purebloods counted on the tradition of sending their children to Hogwarts, and the muggle-born weren't made aware of the different options. "Potion Master."</p><p>The man laughed. 'You must be Professor Severus Snape of Hogwarts. I have always wanted to meet you. Come, let me show you where I found them and you can tell me where you found the Death Cap mushrooms as I cleaned out the area I normally locate them in." </p><p>"I am." Severus was quite proud that the young man knew his name and at the same time fascinated that he wasn't afraid of him. He was very aware of his reputation and he made sure to keep that image alive. "You are?" </p><p>"Oh, yes, sorry. It is a bit rude of me but this is a very unique situation. I do not believe many speak to each other after calmly after being knocked to the ground." He held out his hand. "I am Lord Harry Potter-Black." Severus almost fainted. He knew his face had to be white as a ghost. "Ah, I see. You're either a Death Eater or one of the Order. I read about your trial and Dumbledore standing up for you. So, Dumbledore or Moldy Voldy? Ah, I get it, you're a spy for each of them but as a true Slytherin neither has the truth." </p><p>Severus wasn't sure what to answer. He was still attempting to process the fact he was staring at Harry Potter. A Harry Potter that looked nothing like James Potter until he watched the man shift into an almost exact replica of what the books described Harry Potter to look like before shifting back to the tall, lean but muscular man with almost auburn hair that was straight and bright Kelly Green eyes. Next, he shifted to another combination of what Lily and James' son might look like with long black hair but straight like his, with brown eyes, a bit skinner but tall. "I prefer my normal self, however." The man shifted again to a man a bit taller, a bit lean but you could see the man took care of himself.  Auburn hair that framed his face with a bit of body to his hair. The eyes changed to bright emerald green. </p><p>Severus landed on his butt. His mind was working overtime trying to process everything. Harry Potter was standing in front of him in the Forest of Dean looking for Death Skull Mushrooms after locating bat poop. He was also Metamorphmagus. The man knew he was a spy but how? It wasn't like it was advertised. The Dark Lord was sure of his loyalty as was Dumbledore. Yes, fine, he admitted he was playing one side against the other for his own enjoyment. Both of the leaders were nut jobs and he just wanted to survive. He provided them with the information he hoped would keep the death count down. </p><p>"Harry? Where are you?" </p><p>"Over here, Nym." Harry looked down at Severus. "This is going to be interesting." Harry held out his hand.</p><p>Tonks stumbled into the small clearing, Severus took the extended hand as he watched Tonks' hair change to red. "Indeed, Tonks. I do believe you have some explaining to do." </p><p>"Oh, hush, leave my cousin alone. She is under a Vow not to reveal the information. My Aunt and Uncle thought it was best to keep the fact that they raised me from the nut case that runs Hogwarts and the Order." </p><p>"Harry, he isn't a full nut case, yet. I think." Tonks' hair remained red as she looked at Severus. "Hi, Snape. So I see you met my cousin, Harry Potter-Black." She tried to smile but her smile failed to appear as she looked at the stern Severus Snape.</p><p>"Don't give her a heart attack. Come, let's find those Death Skull mushrooms as I lead you to the bat cave." </p><p>Tonks groaned. "I was hoping you were finished. I have to be on duty in two hours and I wanted lunch. You promised me free food, remember, Bruv." </p><p>Severus closed his eyes as he had heard Tonks mention her adopted brother. He had always believed the boy had been a squib or muggle. Harry started laughing. "No one ever questioned her about her brother?" </p><p>"No." Tonks had a huge grin on her face. "You know Dumbledore only cares if he has a way to recruit them or use them. It's why he wanted me to be an Auror and join the Order. Mum is still pissy with him regarding that." </p><p>"I do believe ingredients can be gathered at another time as I would like the full story and I have a feeling that Lord Potter-Black and you, Tonks, do not fully support Dumbledore nor the Dark Lord." </p><p>Tonks and Harry laughed. "Nope, we have our own side we been recruiting for. You might want to think about joining us." Tonk was almost bouncing on her feet. "We don't have a lot of people yet but the ones we do have are key people."</p><p>Severus looked at the pair. "Lunch is on me." </p><p>_____________________________________________________________</p><p>The trio was sitting outside in the dining area of the Globe Inn Alvington. They already placed their order and Severus, Tonks, and Harry each wove a privacy spell with Severus almost having a heart attack at hearing Harry Potter hissing. Tonk laughed. "Parseltongue too." </p><p>"Nym, don't torment the poor man. A wand promise will do for sharing of information by all of us." Harry eyed Tonks. "His protection as well as ours." </p><p>"Agreed." </p><p>"I swear no information discussed today will be shared with anyone without all of us agreeing." Harry looked at them as they spoke the same oath. "Tonks, you want to explain about you and your parents' involvement?" </p><p>"Sure." Tonks laughed a bit. "When my parents realized that Dumbledore had hidden Harry, they went muggle to find him. My dad, as you know, is a muggle-born. Mum and dad used their barrister skills to search for Lily's sister. They located the address and used me, the first time I got permission to use my skill, to get into a playgroup that Petunia Dursley was involved with. Very unpleasant woman by the way." </p><p>"He left you with Petunia?" Severus was furious. There was no way Lily would have permitted Petunia to have custody of Harry. The woman hated magic. </p><p>"It gets worse," Harry indicated for Tonks to continue. </p><p>"During the third playgroup time, Mum realized that Petunia was not going to bring Harry or even mention Harry. When the playgroup meet again, Dad and the goblins visited #4 Privat Dr. They were not happy with what they discovered. They were so unhappy they waited for Petunia to get home."</p><p>"Wait, that is why they lost the house? That is why no one has been able to locate them and Dumbledore believes they stole Harry and ran away from England?" </p><p>"Kind of. The house belonged to me. Dumbledore used funds from the Peverell vaults to purchase the house before my parents were even killed. My parents only believed that my father was to be Lord Potter when he turned twenty-five. Dumbledore took over the accounts after my grandfather passed away, never informing my father about the vaults."</p><p>Severus' eyes went a bit wide. "The fine he claimed he had to pay to the Ministry for not disclosing your location was really his repaying the Peverell account back." </p><p>"Yes." Harry loved Slytherins. They could read between the lines.</p><p>"The goblins demanded repayment for the care of Harry that Petunia wasn't given to Harry. Petunia and Vernon Dursley readily signed over custody of Harry to my parents and the goblins warned the Dursleys that they better leave the country or the wizarding world was going to seek justice for what they had done to Harry while they held up their swords to indicate they would also join in the hunting of them. My mother suggested they change their names and disappear." </p><p>"I see. Schooling?" Severus was impressed. He shouldn't have been surprised, however, Andromeda Black was a Slytherin married to a Hufflepuff. It was a great combination.</p><p>"Salem Institute of Magic as Harrison Theodore Potter Black Tonks." </p><p>"He is also a Potion Master who is currently enrolled in the University of Edinburgh for Veterinary Medicine. One more year." Tonks was proud of her little brother. </p><p>Severus started laughing. "You brag all the time about him and no one has picked up that he is Harry Potter." </p><p>"Who is going to look at my brother as being Harry Potter when I have been speaking about him since before I went to Hogwarts? Dumbledore only ever asked if my brother would be willing to join the Order and when I explained how he was starting his first year at Uni, he assumed he wasn't magical and never asked again." </p><p>"Yes, Dumbledore loves his assumptions." Severus sighed. "He informed us for years that Harry was being trained in all things required for a young heir to learn as well as receiving special training. It blew up in his face when he couldn't find Harry or the Dursleys for Harry to start his first year at Hogwarts. Minerva, I believe, yelled at him for almost two weeks when they realized Harry's name wasn't in the Book of Names. I heard about how she warned him they were the worst sort of muggles but I hadn't realized it was Petunia. He knows you are still alive because he has some objects in his office tied to your life force but has failed at everything to locate you." </p><p>Tonks snorted as Harry grinned. "Because my name isn't Harry Potter as my parents informed everyone. It was originally Ian Harrison Fleamont Potter Black. Sirius Black blood adopted me when I was three days old. According to what was written in the wills, they didn't want anyone to know my true name so they released it as Harry James Potter. It was Sirius Black's idea to keep my name hidden. His parents, my grandparents were the ones to inform of this before they passed away."</p><p>"You have the former Lord Black's blessing too?" </p><p>"Yes." </p><p>"So, this side you were discussing? What do you aim to accomplish?" Severus was very interested in hearing this information as well as being thankful that his sister in blood had a son that took after her in the brains area and there was almost nothing about Harry Potter that reminded him of his dreaded father.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry, it's been a bit. TX got hit by a massive freeze. No power, no water, and freezing cold which many are still dealing with. I have also been getting two of my former ferals ready to go to their forever homes while creating space for 2 more with kittens.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tonks and Severus were sitting next to each other trying not to laugh at the members of the Order. It was getting harder and harder each meeting. Severus had spent last night with Tonks, Harry, and their parents having a family dinner. Ted had some great ideas to drive Dumbledore crazy especially since he worked at St. Mungos and had heard Dumbledore's mind healer complaining about him. Yes, the mind healer didn't name a name but it was easy to guess if you knew. They were listening to the Wolf and the Mutt give their report. Molly was doing her usual hand wringing whenever they discussed Harry.</p><p>The Mutt was whining about finding his godson and how important it was. The Wolf gave a basic report and spent the rest of the time calming the Mutt down. Severus was sick of listening to the constant whining about Harry, his godson, being missing. How Harry must be alone in the world, lost and confused. How the Mutt arrived at a full-grown adult being alone in the world lost and confused was a bit disconcerting. "Perhaps we should search mental hospitals?" Tonks suggested. "It sounds as if it might be the perfect place to search for him." Tonks ignored the glares she received giving everyone an innocent look. </p><p>"Severus, your report?" Dumbledore popped another lemon drop into his mouth. Severus was wondering if he should up the potion in the lemon drops. </p><p>"He lost interest in the space force idea when someone (read Severus) provided him with how far away the idea of muggles moving to another planet. He changed his direction into discovering Atlantis and setting it up for a place for magical beings to live. He believes that Pompeii is hiding the city when Mt. Vesuvius erupted. He wants to send some of the Death Eaters to Italy." Now they can remove several more Death Eaters. The goblins would be interested in collecting the Death Eaters. He was going to have to talk to Harry about subscribing to some of those rags. </p><p>"Atlantis?" Tonks gasped. "Is he going to start searching the Bermuda Triangle?" They had discussed this last night at dinner. Ted was the one who suggested using the Bermuda Triangle. </p><p>"It was what he mentioned next." Severus was enjoying this. "He believes it holds mystic powers and will help protect magical beings from muggles as well as boost his own magic. He also believes if he discovers Atlantis and settles the Bermuda Triangle he will be able to get you out of power." Severus loved being able to have Tonks fed him lines. The last few times the Order before a meeting had met she had either been working or doing Dumbledore's errands so he couldn't provide her with details. </p><p>"He lost his marbles." Granger was shaking her head. "It sounds crazier than ever." </p><p>Dumbledore grumbled at Granger's comment. He had not been happy with his mind healer sessions. The meetings were short and to the point lately because he had to focus on figuring out what was happening with the Dark Lord and Harry Potter. "Interesting. Hermione, you seem to be aware of the information, perhaps you could research it?"</p><p>Granger stared at Dumbledore for several seconds. "Sir, it hoaxes. Conspiracy theories, next thing you will tell us is that he believes he can rule the New World Order."</p><p>"Well, Lucius did mention something about a new world order but I believed it was to do with the Dark Lord's plans." Severus wanted to laugh. He knew the girl would take the bait. Tonks owed him a favor. Tonks grumbled under her breath about know-it-alls. "He also has an idea of using animals to spy." Granger didn't know that theory it appeared. "He wants Lucius to research it."</p><p>"Hermione, you must too. We must know everything they know so we can prevent it from happening. It is bad enough having to deal with the likes of Peter Pettigrew and Rita Skeeter." </p><p>Severus wondered what scorching article Rita must have written about Dumbledore if he tossed her next to Pettigrew. "Skeeter should be banned from writing." The typical idiotic remark by the youngest son of the Weasley family. "She is only writing about you because she is jealous and besides no one believes her stories anyways." </p><p>Severus wondered how did the Order win the last war? The Wolf and Minerva had brains but believed everything Dumbledore spewed out. The rest were jokes. They didn't have the brains to survive a day in the muggle world. He looked at Tonks as an idea was forming. It might be time to test that theory while getting some of them fined for exposing magic to muggles. Harry sightings would do it. "He gave me a list of potions to brew before I left. It is the standard list." </p><p>"I see. Any news regarding Harry?" Dumbledore looked at each member hoping for a piece or hint of news. "I see. Please provide Minerva with times you can search the area around where I located Harry. We must find him before He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named." Dumbledore dismissed everyone. </p><p>Tonks and Severus were the last two to leave. They were listening to everyone as it appeared no one seemed to realize they were behind them. Granger, Weasley, and Ginny Weasley were complaining about how much of a pain Harry Potter was and it had better be worth the money. Molly and Arthur were in front of them as the rest of the Order was ahead of the elder Weasleys. Molly didn't turn around as she muttered "hush." Molly went on speaking to her husband about finding Harry and her voice carried. If Severus and Tonks didn't have such good hearing or they weren't still leaving the Headmaster's office they might not have heard them. </p><p>Severus held Tonks back as the Weasleys left the stairwell. He didn't want them to be aware they heard the conversation. They waited for a few minutes before leaving the stairwell. "I will see you and your brother soon, I hope."</p><p>"I do too. My parents love having you over for dinner." Tonks' hair went to purple. "Stay safe." </p><p>"I will." Severus headed to his quarters as Tonks headed to the front doors. He knew their parting words would reach the headmaster. Dumbledore would believe he had a way to convert the rest of the Tonks family. </p><p>____________________________________________________</p><p>Lucius looked exhausted. "Rough night?" Severus took the seat opposite his friend in the smaller sitting room. He pulled out a few potions and handed them to Lucius. "Where is he?" </p><p>"Not here, thankfully. He went to Slytherin Castle, finally. He deemed it acceptable enough to be graced with his presence." Lucius was trying but failing to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. This was the first night his house was not going to have the Dark Lord in it. </p><p>"Sorry, my friend. Has he been buying the stories I gave you?" Severus didn't want Lucius, Narcissa, or Draco cursed if he could prevent it.</p><p>"Every one of them. He believes those rags are newsworthy muggle newspapers. He loves you and me right, we can do no wrong. Bellatrix is on a warpath to prove she is worthy of being called his most worthy." Lucius took a few sips of the pain potion. "Thank you for these. I am eternally grateful as is Narcissa. She has been able to avoid him most of the time but he has been in a curse first, ask questions afterward mood. The rest of the Death Eaters are just grateful he is off of their backs now that I provided him with more stories. Narcissa was the one to give him two of those rags to back up our claims as Bellatrix was pushing for us to be killed for betraying him." </p><p>"I swear that woman inherited the full dose of Black Madness for every generation to come." Well, some of the madness went to the Mutt too. Between Bellatrix and the Mutt, they had enough madness to cover any future child having any Black blood in them. </p><p>"I don't disagree. I am just thankful I didn't get stuck married to her." Lucius shuddered. "Dumbledore?" </p><p>"I am thinking they might make great roommates with matching wrap-around hug me jackets. He still isn't happy with seeing a mind healer. I haven't heard about any reports yet but from what I have heard as rumors have been interesting. Who did our Lord get for his mind healer?"</p><p>"I was assigned the task and got Swartz to agree to it. Dumbledore won't be passing but it won't be because of anything Swartz did. Dumbledore is one hundred percent nuts." </p><p>"I am not surprised. I am going to up the dosage on those potions I have given him. He still believes he will find Harry Potter and everything will be perfect." </p><p>Lucius started laughing. "I am sorry but that is a much needed laughter." Lucius looked at Severus. "So?" </p><p>"So?"</p><p>"Come on, Severus, I have known you for far too long to know you know something regarding Harry Potter." </p><p>"Do you visit the Tonks family?" </p><p>"Of course, Andy may have been officially disowned by her parents but Narcissa and she are still close. Draco and her son -" Lucius' eyes lit up. He started laughing again. He didn't stop for several minutes. "I think it's time to have a family reunion." </p><p>"They never informed you?" </p><p>"No, but I remember Andy and Ted mentioning their son was adopted but that his parents were magical. Their parents were still alive but Andy wanted her children to met with their parents and Lord Black. Let's just say the reply back was not very welcoming nor was it encouraging. I think it scared her and Ted. It included a death threat to the children." Lucius shook his head. "They would have informed Bellatrix since they went to visit her."</p><p>"I understand." Severus did. Orion Black and the rest of the Black family firmly believed in blood purity and death to anyone who wasn't pure. </p><p>"Harry's life would have been in extreme danger if it was discovered by them just who he was. They wouldn't be able to protect him all the time. I wished I had known but Andy thought I was still upset with her about the marriage contract. When the boys were about 8 or 9 we had a conversation about it and I remember the relief on her face when I said how much I loved Narcissa and I was just thankful not to be married to Bellatrix as my father desired." </p><p>"Andy never did master the art of using a mask very well." </p><p>"No, but enough of the past. Tonight, we relax, have a few drinks, and think positive thoughts for the future." Lucius stood up and went to his hidden liquor cabinet. The one he thought Narcissa didn't know about (she did). He poured them some scotch. He handed one to Severus as he passed by him to return to his seat. He had left the bottle out for easy summoning when needed. "To the two nut cases." </p><p>"To the two nut cases."</p>
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